With Premier League clubs attempting to clone their stars, it must only a matter of time before self confessed 'maestro' Didier Zokora starts seeing double.
What’s in a name?
Didier Zokora has decided he is the maestro.
We know he has decided he is the maestro because his shirt said he was the maestro when lining up for Ivory Coast against Togo in the African Cup of Nations.
If it is suddenly hunky dory for international footballers to wear their nicknames instead of their real names on the back of their shirts (and after staring into the soulless eyes of Sepp Blatter The Circus is pretty sure that it isn’t) then it’s still puzzling why Zokora would have “maestro” on the back of his.
In The Circus’s experience, players who like to call themselves “maestro” tend to pick up other, more appropriate, nicknames... like “wally” or “git” or “Joey Barton”.
Gervinho, teammate of “maestro”, scored the winner in the game. And what a winner it was:
Afterwards, “maestro” was seen to run to Gervinho and engage him in deep conversation.
Perhaps he was cautioning the striker against performing too many maestro-like acts in the future. Or maybe he was suggesting Gervinho wear “Mr Frustrating” or “I don’t half run hot and cold” on the back of his shirt in the next game:
Call me a cynic, but...
So fourth-tier Bradford has qualified for the League Cup final.
And it’s a great day for the underdog and the club’s giant-killing feats will be go down in history and let’s all rent ‘Cool Runnings’ or ‘Rudy’ or some other soul-affirming flick about life’s little guys overcoming the odds like ‘Silence of the Lambs’.
C’mon! It only beat for Villa for crissake!
Brave new world
Well, looky here. Tottenham has only gone and cloned Gareth Bale.
But if you think Spurs are the first club to pursue the technology you'd be as mistaken as a Scottish football journalist’s wife.
It seems Manchester City has already teamed up with Harvard boffins to clone Carlos Tevez.
No, that was cruel. The Circus apologises. As if City would ever waste money cloning Tevez.
Actually as it turns out, no one's been cloned, not even Jimmy Bullard.
Spurs merely have a lookalike on their hands in the form of Kenny McEvoy, who not only looks like Bale but "even plays in his position and wears the same boots".
Wow. That McEvoy must have small feet.
“He's lying. Marco Materazzi's lying. He's lying. Just lying. Everything he said is a lie. Everything that he talked about me, the things that he said about me, when he was talking with Jose Mourinho, is a lie because nobody knew that I was going to Inter - even me. He's a liar. About the pictures, he's lying, so he's a liar.”
- Now, The Circus isn’t sure, but it thinks Rafa Benitez thinks Marco Materazzi’s tall tales about his time at Inter, and taking down pictures of Jose Mourinho from the dressing room, and being pretty much rubbish at everything, lack the factual basis that would qualify them as what is known as “truth”.
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Philip Micallef is a football writer with almost 40 years of experience. He has worked for News Limited and now SBS. He is a long-time follower of AC Milan.
A journalist with decades of experience on TV and radio, Tony is an expert on all things Italian - including football.