Just how does The Circus link one-time Socceroos No.1 Mark Bosnich with a Bulgarian manager, the Greek economy and Newcastle United?
Like Mark Bosnich's hairline, you can never quite assume you have seen the last of Bulgarian football manager Tsanko Tsvetanov.
Tsvetanov has been sacked three times this season by his club, Etar Veliko Tarnovo.
The 42-year-old was first sent on his way in August when his side suffered a 1-0 defeat to Beroe Stara Zagora.
A loss to Pirin Gotse Delchev was the final straw when Tsvetanov was fired again in September.
On that occasion, rumours circulated of infighting behind the scenes and Turkish owner Feyzi Ilhanli accused Tsvetanov of match-fixing. But olive branches appeared to have been exchanged when Tsvetanov, a national hero at the 1994 World Cup, was reinstated for the second time in two months after protests by fans.
This week's third sacking came after a series of statements against Ilhanli and "actions that undermine the prestige of the club", according to a club statement.
A word of mouth thing
Like Mark Bosnich's hairline, the Greek economy has spent the last few years lurching from disaster to disaster.
Starved of funding because of the drastic spending cuts, many football clubs have been forced to take an innovative approach to sponsorship. One has secured a promotional deal with a local funeral home. Another is involved with a jam factory.
The Voukefalas club, however, has taken a more classical approach, striking a deal with representatives of a profession that is said to be the world's oldest and even in Greece is probably almost as ancient as discuss throwing, philosophy and life drawing.
The amateur outfit has so far earned at least 1000 euros for a deal with two Greek brothels.
Fans of Voukefalas can turn up to training sessions and watch players jog around with smiles on their faces and pink practice kits emblazoned with the words 'Soula's House of History' and 'Villa Erotica'.
League officials, showing a disappointing lack of enthusiasm for the club's approach, have banned the team from wearing the sponsored tops during games.
The sponsors themselves are unfussed by the ban. Brothel owner Soula Alevridou, presumably of the House of History, says her industry has thrived while the rest of the country has plunged towards bankruptcy.
In fact, business is going so well that Alevridou is only dabbling in football sponsorship because she loves her country and wants to help struggling athletes.
"It's not the kind of business that needs promotion,'' she said. "It's a word-of-mouth kind of thing.''
The Circus thanks God the situation in Greece is still not so dire that any club has had to resort to a sponsorship with a payday loan company.
Some people stand in the darkness/afraid to step into the light
The highlight of the midweek international fixtures was, obviously, the decision by Poland officials not to close the roof on their new national stadium before the match against England.
Footage of pitch invaders being chased by sodden security staff at the waterlogged ground has, in a perfect example of what makes the internet great, been set to the Baywatch theme.
A blow for traditionalists
Like Mark Bosnich's hairline, the mere mention of Newcastle United's Sports Direct Arena is enough to send a frisson of excitement down the neck of every true football supporter in England.
So it is a mystery why, after barely a season, the hallowed signage at the Magpies' home ground is now being torn down and the stadium renamed. So far as The Circus can make out, the venue's new name is a tribute to defender James Perch.
The spoken word
"I'm not naive. I know that soccer is a rough sport." - Susie Clark, whose daughter Makenzie made headlines in the US after being kneed in the head while lying on the ground during a high school match in Utah.
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