Fair dinkum, Emile Heskey is now an A-League player as a Colombian hard man receives his marching orders for the 41st time!
Taken by surprise
Here's news for those feeling pangs of nostalgia for the 2011-2012 English Premier League season all those weeks ago: Blackburn Rovers manager Steve Kean is under the cosh... and now without a job.
Rovers is third after seven games in the Championship, but the club has narrowly failed to meet the target set by its owners of 16 points after seven games (Rovers has 14). And now enough is enough.
That's probably no great surprise to anyone with ears and with a memory long enough to recall the backdrop of booing to which Rovers played out its last home games in the Premier League. However, Rovers itself says the current discontent from the terraces at Ewood Park has come out of the blue.
"Unfortunately, the momentum built up so fast it was quite difficult to step in and react," the club's global advisor Shebby Singh said.
"It should not have been allowed to escalate like that but it did and the situation gets worse by the day. Financially now it is not a good situation because the fans are staying away."
The situation indeed sounds grim: fan discontent and a worsening financial situation.
But with the club's owners, the Venky family, being notoriously infrequent visitors to Lancashire, would it not have been wise to appoint someone to act as a mediator between the club and its owners? Someone whose specific job it would have been to see the bigger picture, act quickly and do "whatever he has to do" to win promotion?
Ah yes, that would be Rovers' global advisor Shebby Singh. Still, if only someone could have seen all this coming, eh, Shebby?
Referee's post-match report of the week
"After 22 minutes, several cups of water, some flip-flops and a wristwatch were thrown at me," Marcelo Aparecido Ribeiro de Souza wrote after completing his refereeing duties for Palmeiras v Corinthians.
"After 35 minutes, a chair was thrown, but missed. When I sent off Luan for a slap and a kick, he barged me and explained: 'You thief, I will crush you, you shit! Bunch of thieves!'"
In this week's episode, Norwich City goalkeeper John Ruddy explains how to plant a shrub.
Only the second most obvious red card you'll see this week
The most obvious? That would be Gerardo Bedoya (a name which, for some reason, The Circus cannot read without intoning "you killed my father, prepare to die"). The Independiente Santa Fe defender received his marching orders during Colombia's Bogota derby for elbowing Millionarios' Yhonny Ramirez.
The red card was the 41st of Bedoya's career, a tally that makes Roy Keane look like Anne of Green Gables. But Bedoya wasn't done yet.
The former Colombia international lingered to stamp on Ramirez's face, sparking a mass brawl. He was fined 1,227,850 Colombian pesos ($656) and suspended for 15 matches.
The spoken word
"Streuth, he's wanted Down Under … Fair dinkum, big man." – The Mirror covers most of the jingoistic bases but forgets to mention flamin' galahs when reporting the arrival of England international and video game cult hero Emile Heskey in Newcastle.
Meet Our Bloggers
Fondly known as 'Mr Football', Les has been directly involved in all
the major events covered by SBS Sport, including five World Cup
football tournaments. Follow @lesmurraysbs on Twitter.
As SBS’s chief football analyst, Craig provides expert opinion and unrivalled insight. He has also represented the Socceroos and played abroad. Follow @Craig_Foster on Twitter.
Considered one of Australia's most gifted players, Ned Zelic represented the Socceroos 34 times over a decorated career that spanned Europe, Asia and the United Kingdom. Follow @NedZelic on Twitter.
After years playing abroad and a 20-goal career for the Socceroos, David turned his hand to football punditry and is a beach football fanatic. Follow @zdrila on Twitter.
Scott’s passion and knowledge of Asian football has consolidated his reputation as Australia’s foremost Asian football expert.
Vitor commentates for SBS and works as a presenter for The World Game. His passion for European football resonates through his blogs. Follow @Vitor_TWG on Twitter.
Philip Micallef is a football writer with almost 40 years of experience. He has worked for News Limited and now SBS. He is a long-time follower of AC Milan.
The Circus is The World Game's regular look at the beautiful game from left field. So join us every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday for something a little more light-hearted than the norm.
British-born Tim works as a journalist and has lived in Brazil since 1994 and provides unrivalled knowledge of South American football.
Hailing from Amsterdam, Ajax tragic Cornell vander Heyden has over 12 years of journalism experience and cites covering the 2006 World Cup among his career highlights. Follow @dvanda101 on Twitter.