The Circus - 6 September

Bob's your straight-shootin' uncle

Bobby Charlton is a man who doesn't waste time with a lot of unnecessary words.

No beating around the bush with your fence-sitting pussy-footedness, for Sir Bob, oh no siree.

The England legend does not believe his country can prevail in Brazil in 2014 because, and to be succinct, "they haven't got a lot of top-quality players".

That would make it pretty difficult to win the World Cup, wouldn’t it?

Says Charlton, "perhaps, if the right group of players come together and stay together for a while and gel into a team, with the right manager, then perhaps it might happen".

OK, so things are not so glum for the Old Dart then. All they need to triumph is:

• A whole bunch of different (ie. good) players
• These guys to play together a lot
• And play together well
• With a different (ie. good) manager
• Then, maybe, perhaps, they'll do OK.

Of course (and without being disrespectful to Sir Bob) that blueprint would pretty much work for Tibet let alone England.

Or possibly even the Socceroos.

The whole situation has Charlton showing a lot of sympathy for ... erm ... whassisname. 

"I feel sorry for the England manager, whoever he is", Charlton said.

Don't worry, Bobby, come 2015 no one else will probably remember his name either.

Goals, gab and gaffs

Here is a very good goal:

And here is a very strange goal (watch the goalie's ... ahem ... "effort"):

The first goal, scored by Tomas De Vicenti, made the guy who posted the vid say: "great impressively goal!"

The second goal, let in by Ahmad Sharbinee Allawee, made his coach say: "I can safely say he won't feature in the team anymore."

Fortunately for Terengganu coach Peter Butler, The Circus has scouted a replacement:

The concern from the fans in front is touching, isn't it?

Of course, if Butler wants a goalkeeper who is capable of not just saving goals, but scoring them, there's always this bloke:

Everybody hurts, sometimes

Cristiano Ronaldo's sadness is catching.

Now, Cesc Fabregas is sad too. 

To be fair, these men have much to be sad about, what with Fabregas not getting enough game time and Ronaldo being an almost comically selfish git and everything.

Fabregas's depression stems from the fact he is above spending any time on the bench ever (you're not at Arsenal now, Cesc), while Ronaldo is, at the suggestion of his team-mates, short on love. 

Or as The Circus calls it, 'the not-being-Lionel-Messi' syndrome.

You know what would cheer them both up? Fame, fortune and a life of unconceivable privilege as a professional footballer.

Spoken word

"I'm coming to Sydney to score and to win and I'm hoping that Australian football, with my help, can grow." – Sydney FC signing Alessandro Del Piero. We're hoping too, Alessandro.