The Circus - 11 August

Priceless

Brazilian star Neymar is priceless, Santos president Luis Alvaro says. And Alvaro does not mean priceless in the sense of 'has amusing hair'. He means priceless in the sense of 'there is literally no amount of money which would adequately express his worth'.

"I am adamant in saying that Neymar is priceless," Alvaro says. "Millions and millions of euro, dollars and reais could not pay for him. He is a unique player, he's distinguished, he is the great idol of Brazilian football, for whom it is impossible to negotiate."

Neymar, who has reportedly attracted interest from Barcelona and Real Madrid, is contracted with Santos until 2014. And he has a buy-out clause of £57 million. Which, by the Circus's feeble maths, does make him worth a lot of money indeed – 1.6 Andy Carrolls, to use the agreed international unit of measurement. But still a long way from priceless.

Meanwhile, Liverpool owner John W Henry wants to raise funds to buy more Jordan Hendersons and is about to ask what the naming rights are worth to historic Anfield. The Circus doesn't know, but it bets at least a few thousand Everton fans would pony up a fiver for the Reds to play their home games at, say, Burger King on the Mersey.

Quite an interesting formation

BBC pundit Garth Crooks sees what others do not. Specifically, the secret to Brazil's performance against what Uncle Rupert's newspapers like to call Nice Korea in Tuesday's Olympic semi-final.

That secret would be Brazil's formation. No wonder they won 3-0.

Shirts versus skins

The Circus has googled and googled but it has no idea what Larissa Riquelme has been up to this week.

Instead, here's an update on Nina Kristin.

Kristin, 28, made a name for herself in the time-honoured fashion in German Playboy (nope Google it yourself). Unusually, however, she is considering a new career as a footballers' agent.

Kristin this week enrolled in an agent's course run by the German Football Federation. She tells Bild.de: "I have many friends who are football players and they constantly complain that they are taken advantage of by their agents. They need someone who is acting in their best interests.

"I have been studying the FIFA rulebook for weeks," she added, already putting herself one up on Kia Joorabchian.

In news not totally unrelated to the early entries on Kristin's CV, Suffolk non-league team Playford FC have no sponsor for the upcoming season. So they have followed the dilemma to its logical extreme.

Animal psychic latest

Almost 100 per cent: the accuracy of raccoon mystic Jemma the Psychic's predictions, according to her Russian handlers. Jemma, based in Tula, 200km south of Moscow, cut her teeth during Euro 2012, where she correctly predicted Spain to win its third consecutive international tournament. She has tipped China to top the medal tally at the Olympics, followed by Russia. Paul the Octopus spins in his (probably watery) grave.

The spoken word

"People think I am joking. But if Alex Ferguson called me up and said, 'Okay, let's do this, come and have a trial', it would be impossible for me to say 'no' ... I am a very accomplished player and know I could make a difference."

- Usain Bolt is serious about trying out for Manchester United, he tells British media. "I would be the fastest player in the team," Bolt adds, carelessly overlooking Paul Scholes.