Les Davies may need to enlist the signing talents of Joan Laporta's porn star partner if he is to be any hope of being voted European Footballer of the Year.
Day trip to Bangor
Demand has been running hot for Bangor City's Les Davies ever since his surprise nomination for European Footballer of the Year.
Davies, who works five days per week in a local factory making safety equipment for rock climbing, has given interviews to TV stations as far flung as CNN.
And although most news outlets are treating his nomination as a novelty, Davies hopes his time in the spotlight alongside Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo and Andres Iniesta might allow him to achieve his dream of becoming a full-time footballer.
"It's just unreal to be on the same list as them, because we are worlds apart," he told the Daily Mail.
"You see the mansions they live in, but I'm in a three-bedroom terrace that cost £120,000 just last year. In fact, we didn’t even pay that.
"It's a Housing Association property, so they paid half and they own half. We actually paid less than £60,000."
Bangor secretary Gwynfor Jones did no real favours to Davies's chances of winning a professional contract, describing him as "the best of how the game used to be played".
"He is a big old-fashioned centre-forward, and if anyone does ever put him on the deck, he's back on his feet in an instant, no matter how hard he has been clattered," Jones said.
Uninspiring as this sounds, there are one or two top-level footballers who share the attributes of not scoring all that much and getting up quickly when clattered.
So The Circus did some research, and it turns out Davies should be worth around $30 million.
Fury, manhood and love
Not deterred by having been ousted as Barcelona president in 2010, Joan Laporta is reportedly running for re-election. And he's not the only one who thinks he deserves another shot at running the world's most successful club.
Spanish porn actress Maria Lapiedra also thinks so. Lapiedra, who is dating Laporta and recently enjoyed a 'pre-wedding honeymoon' with him in Cuba, has made a video to support his candidacy.
'Laporta, El Hombre' ('Laporta, The Man') is below, and can best be enjoyed by pre-emptive deployment of the mute button. Yahoo Sports helpfully translated some of the lyrics, which will surely be enough to stir, at a minimum, the hearts and voting fingers of even the most reluctant Barcelona board members.
The man who brought glory and honor and victory, prestige and value
The man who punched the Whites with that 6-2 win
The man who moved my bed, with Catalan fury, manhood and love.
(via Yahoo Sports)
June: Al Wasl chairman Dr Mohammed Ahmad bin Fahad tells UAE newspaper The National: "(Diego) Maradona is the head coach of the Al Wasl team and he will continue for the next season. He will have complete authority over the programme for the next season. There is no change in his position."
One month later: His position changes. Days after sacking Maradona, Bin Fahad's deputy invites the Argentine great to a 'farewell ceremony'. The ceremony would reflect the "unique and strong " (and, The Circus would add, "terminated") relationship between Al Wasl and Maradona.
Maradona is yet to reply.
Those kicks were fast as lightning
Thomas Vermaelen has prepared for Arsenal's trip to Malaysia by becoming a warrior master.
Also deserving of a long holiday away from competitive football: the goalkeeper involved in this incident. He received a yellow card.
The spoken word
"Now I think the people in Paris will have something else to see besides the Mona Lisa." - Zlatan Ibrahimovic's agent Mino Raiola puts his client's move to PSG into perspective.
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