The surprising and, to some, underwhelming appointment of Ian Crook as new Sydney FC coach is enjoying an early honeymoon with the media and the public.

I was among those caught by surprise. Here was the ‘bling club’ appointing a desk corporal as its general. It wasn’t exactly a brash statement from a club which, in 2005, almost had Roy Hodgson as its first coach and paid big bucks to have All Night Dwight rage to the swaying vocals of The Cove.

Not that I thought he was a lousy coach, mind you, for I knew not what kind of coach he was or is. It’s just that when you have reason to believe the club was capable of chasing some big name, you get a wee shock when the name announced is not Philippe Troussier, Ruud Gullit, Frank Rijkaard or Sven-Goran Eriksson but Ian Crook.

When I first heard, I was assured by club staffers that 'Crookie' had the respect of all at Sydney FC, including the players, and all insiders felt relieved and happy that it was him. That was a good sign.

But then came the press conference where the new head coach was unveiled, he who once told his friends that he saw himself as a 'career assistant'.

On the podium Crook went to some lengths, without solicitation, to talk with the kind of brash his appointment didn’t reflect. He spoke, refreshingly, about bringing back the bling, about the need for entertaining football and about 'players with a bit of excitement'.

For an old football junkie like me, for whom football that doesn’t entertain is not football at all, it was music to the ears.

The Sydney Morning Herald headlined the news with Sydney put faith in Crook to bring back the bling. The Daily Telegraph went with Crook to entertain the fans.

"That never bothered me, the bling in year one," Crook was quoted saying. "Everyone thought it would be a negative, but I don't agree with that. I think we need to bring a bit of that back."

"The one thing we do need to add, and something we've been blessed with in the past, is some real crowd-pleasers.

"Dwight was a crowd-pleaser, even David Carney to be fair and then Juninho. So I think it's important what we bring needs to fit into a culture of a winning mentality but it needs to have a little bit of flair. We want to get people not only in here but up and off their seats."

What a nice way of putting it.

This is the man who expedited the rise of Joel Chianese. So we know what he means.

It’s the kind of language you would expect from the president of Real Madrid, or of FC Barcelona, not the coach of an A-League club, not even Sydney FC.

It appears that the new coach gets it, in a way that no Sydney FC coach before him, nor chairman or CEO, ever did. What Crook gets is that a football club with ambitions of true greatness, of having a regal identity, of one which can build undying fan loyalty, cannot be that without regal football.

And that goes for some other clubs too, by the way, most notably Melbourne Victory which may well have taken the right turn towards being a footballing showcase with the signing of Ange Postecoglou.

It will go for the new west Sydney club, whose fans will never tolerate ‘blue collar football’. If Tony Popovic takes it the same way we’re in for a right royal rivalry.

Ian Crook, clearly, wants to play what Ruud Gullit called 'sexy football' and has made that part of his mission. Not for him is it enough to merely win trophies and ‘grind out results’, as one of his predecessors once pledged to do. He wants to do it with style and with class.

Sydney FC, David Traktovenko, Scott Barlow, you want to be a football club of true greatness? If Ian Crook stays true to his word, you may just have got the right man to give you that.

Now make sure you give him the tools to do it.

Just like muck-up day

In a lot of ways, the final day of the Premier League season resembles the last day of year 12. Pranks are played on teachers, kids dress up in wacky outfits and/or next season's away gear, and there is always someone that takes it too far.

This year's culprit was QPR captain Joseph Anthony Barton (surely the Circus is not the only one giggling at that phrase) who returned to what he does best - ultra-violence on the football pitch.

In one of the worst displays of sportsmanship in memory, Barton was sent off for elbowing Carlos Tevez in the head (so far just a normal game of football for Barton), but on his way off the pitch he also saw fit to attack eventual match-winner Sergio Aguero and Manchester City captain Vincent Kompany.

Carlos buries the hatchet (in Fergie's head)

Such tumultuous times always bring out the true character of football's gallery of heroes and villains.

There are good winners, like Roberto Mancini: "Five minutes from the end I didn't think we could win this game. It was a crazy season and a crazy last few minutes."

And begrudging losers like Sir Alex Ferguson: "Everybody expected City to win, but they did it against 10 men for half an hour and with five extra minutes to help them. I congratulate City on winning the league. Anybody who wins it deserves it, because it's a long haul. It wasn't our turn today."

Then there is Tevez, who hoped the pain of defeat would literally kill his former boss at Manchester United.

How to apologise, part 1

Tim Cahill's last act of the season was a vain attempt to throttle Yohan Cabaye moments after Everton secured a 3-1 over Newcastle. The Australian's moment of rage, sparked by a sledge from Cabaye, earned him a red card. The Newcastle man didn't go unpunished, copping a yellow for his part in the unseemly scuffle.

After the match, Cabaye had the good grace to issue a statement, which read in part: "It was unnecessary and, regrettably, the result of frustration and disappointment, all in the heat of the moment. It is out of character and for that I am sorry."

In the face of such good grace, the Circus is not surprised that both clubs are willing to move on.

How to apologise, part 2

Cabaye's humility is laudable but it is nowhere near as entertaining as Barton's mea culpa via Twitter after his contributions to the bizarro world that was Etihad Stadium.

"The head was never gone at any stage, once I'd been sent off, one of our players suggested I should try to take 1 of theirs with me...Never worked but god loves a trier," he wrote after the match.

"Think a few people are forgetting Tevez started the fracas by throwing a punch to the head...?

"Right am off for a bit. Gonna enjoy QPR still being a Premiership club with all my team-mates. Cheerio people."

Barton went on to prove how much his head was not gone by unleashing yet another tirade at Alan Shearer, his former manager at Newcastle who now commentates for the BBC.

In the face of such bald-faced idiocy, the Circus will be very surprised if Barton is within shouting distance of Loftus Road when QPR gathers for the start of pre-season.

Super Mario's last laugh

From car crashes to prostitute scandals, from errant backheels to studs-up challenges and even that famous fireworks incident, Mario Balotelli's season has been anything but dull.

Now, with a Premier League winner's medal around his neck, Mario has a simple message for his critics: "A lot of people talked bad about me this year, so now they have to shut up and watch me."

The Circus will be among those happily obliging with Balotelli's polite request. Long may his madcap antics continue, and may Mancini and England's tabloids never tire of them. We at Circus Towers certainly won't.

The spoken word

"I want to say it is the best moment of my life but if I'm honest then I would say please never again this way. Miracles do happen in Manchester. Only this time it's on this side of the road." - Manchester City captain Vincent Kompany on the chaotic end to the Premier League season.

Roberto Mancini has led City to a richly deserved title by getting the better of crosstown rival Manchester United, albeit by the most slender of margins.

At one stage it looked like City had choked in its last match of the season, against Queens Park Rangers, before scoring twice in injury time to land the elusive championship.

It was an extraordinary escape even comeback king United would have been proud of.

But this won't stop football's killjoys from pontificating that City would be nowhere without Sheikh Mansour bin Zayed Al Zayed Nahyan, who bought the club in 2008 and changed the face of football.

United manager Sir Alex Ferguson even described City's spending power as “insane”.

Excuse me, am I missing something here?

Fergie, of all people, is complaining about City's capacity to acquire the finest players money can buy after he himself enjoyed so many years of domestic superiority on the back of the financial clout of the Old Trafford club which is one of the biggest brands in sport.

The Scot can justifiably point out that the club produced several of the stars that made United so popular worldwide for the best part of two decades.

Yet Fergie never hesitated to dip into the club's considerable pockets to acquire any player who might have taken his fancy.

Manchester City may have invested more money on more players but that does not make it insane. Extraordinary perhaps but not insane, especially since the club has been richly rewarded.

Why all this fuss about City spending big money, anyway?

Real Madrid was able to bring Jose Santamaria, Alfredo di Stefano and later Ferenc Puskas to Spain in the 1950s thanks largely to the wealth and political clout of club president Santiago Bernabeu.

AC Milan used the vast riches of its controversial president Silvio Berlusconi to assemble a highly successful side that took the game to a new level from 1988 to 1994.

Barcelona, which won the UEFA Champions League three times in the last seven seasons, is not exactly shy when it comes to using its cheque book, either.

These three massive organisations have produced arguaby the finest teams Europe has ever seen basically because of their spending power.

Yet few level-headed fans would have complained at the way the Merengues, Rossoneri or Azulgrana had 'bought' their way to domestic bliss and European glory ... they just admired the fantastic football they were able to produce.

The history of the game is also littered with examples of expensively-assembled teams that failed to deliver on the pitch essentially because a team of champions does not necessarily make a champion team.

Remember the Galacticos of Roberto Carlos, Zinedine Zidane, Luis Figo, David Beckham, Raul and Ronaldo?

So why all this indignant head-shaking about Manchester City, which has moulded a highly efficient and successful team in a short space of time (although in fairness it has a long way to go to emulate that triumvirate's achievements)?

Mancini's men are not the finished product, far from it. They failed to survive the group stage of this season's Champions League before flopping in the lesser Europa League too.

Some positions in the team leave a lot to be desired and the squad depth must be strengthened.

However, it is not as if City usurped the title in controversial fashion or bored the hell out of everybody with a cynical and negative approach.

City generally plays imaginative, attacking football and in David Silva it has one of Europe's most outstanding playmakers and in Sergio Aguero one of the world's most lethal finishers.

City's rapid transformation into a global giant has also given European football a new force in its midst, a team to challenge the usual suspects for the honours.

So before we start casting aspertions on a club that was unhappy with its state of mediocrity and chose to do something about it, we should be thankful to Manchester City for giving football a new and fresh dimension.

Welcome to the big time, Manchester City.

Pyongyang, the restaurant, is a bizarre meeting of Juche ideology and the need for hard currency to prop up the regime back home – a place where you pay in US dollars and can drink Coke yet are regaled with dances and songs paying homage to the latest of the Kim clan.

The food is a mix of the usual and not so – dog casserole alongside Kimchi, Angkor beer next to North Korean whisky; all served by a troupe of attractive young Korean women who live on the premises, can only leave in groups and who look like a 12 year-old girl that decided to dress like a porcelain doll.

Strange to many but relations between the two countries have been solid since a triumvirate of Asia's most dominant political forces first met in Jakarta in 1965.

Then Indonesian President Sukarno introduced North Korean leader Kim Il-sung and Cambodian Prince Norodom Sihanouk to each other at a summit in the Indonesian capital, with the latter pair striking up a bond so strong that when Sihanouk twice sought exile it was to Pyongyang he went on both occasions.

Those newly-forged ties were to provide an unorthodox link to Australia's first attempt to qualify for the FIFA World Cup.

After enduring several years in the wilderness after a FIFA ban, the then Australian Soccer Federation was finally re-admitted to the global body in 1963 and first entered qualification for the World Cup to be held in England in 1966.

Such was the convoluted system FIFA employed at the time that Australia was grouped with South Africa, South Korea and North Korea. However, with the first of that trio being banned by FIFA and the second withdrawing there was a need to find a suitable 'neutral' venue in which to play the matches.

With the regime in Pyongyang having few diplomatic ties, Sihanouk seized upon his links with North Korea and offered Phnom Penh as a host city.

So it was that Australia's national team headed to Cambodia for their very first tilt at the World Cup – a moment that has in many ways been lost to the Australian footballing public.

I've spent the past couple of weeks in Cambodia visiting what was at the time the state-of-the-art new Olympic Stadium, speaking to players, officials and supporters who were all there in 1965 for the two matches.

It's worth remembering that the seeds for Germany and South Africa were originally planted here on Cambodian soil.

It's fair to say that football in the three countries – North Korea, Australia and Cambodia – has veered off on three very different courses over the past half a century but the balance in the mid-1960s was firmly in favour of the north Asians.

North Korea's preparation for the two matches consisted of a lengthy program of international matches stretching over three years with a squad of full-time players well looked after by the military regime in Pyongyang.

Australia by contrast arrived in Cambodia with just one warm-up match and a brief training camp in Cairns.

Three-times Socceroos coach Les Scheinflug was one of the 25-strong party that travelled to Phnom Penh and described the side's preparations as sub-standard.

"We were pioneers but we were pioneers with our eyes closed," he said. "We arrived in the country with virtually no preparation and we had a week to prepare.

"That week we spent eating and drinking like the locals do but we simply weren't prepared for it. Almost half of our team spent time in the medical ward."

Australia would go on to be routed by a Korean side that contained one of Asia's finest players, striker Pak Do-ik.

The Aussies lost the first match, on 21 November 1965, 6-1 and three days later fell 3-1.

Those historic first goals were both scored by Scheinflug who reasoned that had the trip been better planned Australia may have had a much better chance.

"They did things totally the wrong way around," Scheinflug said.

"After the North Korea matches we travelled to Hong Kong and Malaysia where we played four matches against various national teams and won all of them.

"Imagine that today, warm-up matches after the main event!"

Forward Archie Blue played in the first of the two qualifiers and has been an active force in trying to preserve the memory of that historic first campaign.

"Football in Australia didn't begin with the A-League," he said. "We may be old but we are the old pioneers of Australian football."

But some things never change.

"At that time seven of our squad were based in Melbourne and we'd be lucky to get one column in the press," Blue said.

"We went to Cambodia and we made headlines. At last Australia was on the world stage."

Press clippings Blue sent me from the time back up those claims while Lou Gautier, then a newspaper journalist and latterly with SBS as a walking football encyclopedia, wrote, "All over the streets of Phnom Penh huge posters publicise the match which will be the greatest event in Cambodian sporting history."

"Ever since our arrival in Phnom Penh we've been walking on red carpet. We were driven from the airport in a motorcade with crowds lining the streets and cheering the team right to the hotel. Three high-ranking government officials are permanently attached to the Australian team... and along all the main routes of the city fly the Australian and North Korean flags."

How times have changed.

Years of war and the terror inflicted by the Khmer Rouge set Cambodian football back several generations – these days the Olympic Stadium is used more as a gathering point for the capital's active citizens.

National matches and some club fixtures are still played there but the giant bowl in the middle of town is abuzz nightly with the young and old exercising on its vast open spaces.

North Korea went on to shock the world in 1966 – the 'dentist' Pak Do-ik and his side knocking out Italy and pushing the mighty Portugal all the way in the quarter-final before slipping in and out of an international coma that saw it briefly wake-up to reach the finals in South Africa.

Australia, after falling to Israel at the final stage in 1969, finally reached the big show thanks to Jimmy Mackay's 70th minute strike against South Korea in neutral Hong Kong four years later.

While that moment is remembered by many as one of Australian football's finest moments, the exploits of the pioneers a decade earlier are rapidly fading.

Recently there's been some talk – supported by those survivors of 1965 – that it would be a fitting tribute to that side if a friendly was played to mark the 50th anniversary of that match.

Australia against North Korea in Cambodia in 2015 – the year Australia hosts the Asian Cup.

The ageing Sihanouk is in exile, the third-generation of Kim has control in Pyongyang and Robert Menzies and his United Australia Party are both long gone but hopefully the political will is there to remember those who first flew the flag for Australia on the world stage.

Pyongyang would do a roaring trade.

:: Scott will be filing regular columns for The World Game from across Asia over the next 12 months. Don't miss them.

Why walk when you can moonwalk?

Booked after an aerial collision during the first leg of the Campeonato Pernambucano final against Santa Cruz, Sport Recife defender Tobi initially refused to show the referee his number.

After repeated requests he complied, but not in the way you were expecting (unless, you know, you noticed the title of this segment and put two and two together).

The video of the incident helpfully includes Michael Jackson's original move for comparison.

Poetry in motion

Moonwalking in football boots is a feat few individuals are brave enough to attempt. However, you suspect Neymar is one such man.

Santos's superstar featured in last Saturday's Circus for extracurricular reasons, so it's only fair to give him credit when he does what he is paid for (and no, this is not a continuation of last week's discussion. So far as The Circus is aware, the orgies about which Neymar said "I go but I never join in" are strictly unpaid).

Neymar scored twice in the first leg of the Sao Paulo state championship final against Guarani. The goals were his 103rd and 104th for Santos, equalling a club record for most goals scored since Pele, whose final tally for the club was a staggering 1091.

The clip below contains a Pele-like collection of goals and near misses, as well as plenty of examples of why Neymar still has some way to go before matching the Brazilian great.

Exhibit A is the flick at 1.37, as brilliant as it is pointless.

Poultry in motion

Apparently, things didn't end well for the chicken that invaded Ewood Park this time last week.

When music goes wrong, part 34

The latest instalment of our occasional series on what happens when music is tackled studs-up by football features Real Madrid defender Sergio Ramos.

In related news, Euro 2012 is almost upon us and Polish authorities are preparing for the inevitable onslaught of English fans looking for a fountain to fall into.

The Poles, in their wisdom, have decided on sonic cannons. Sonic cannons, according to The Sun's team of lovably hysterical experts, are "ear-splitting gizmos mounted on trucks".

Sergio Ramos would be more portable, and probably cheaper.

Dider Drogba is a repeat offender in this segment, but the Chelsea striker is, thankfully, not singing in this music video by former, erm, actress Julia Channel (and in this case The Circus uses the terms 'music' and 'actress' very loosely).

That's Didier at the 3.46 mark looking at his watch and appearing surprised exactly like a real, sentient human would in such a circumstance.

The spoken word

"It is not enough. I want to apologise to the fans and players. I was so disappointed in myself. If I had not made the mistake we would have won the match and had a great night. In the morning, it would have been fun at practice, but now it won't be." – Djurgarden's Marc Pedersen, after scoring this spectacular 89th-minute own goal to gift Swedish league rival AIK a 1-1 draw.

After forty minutes of play, the Guardian's minute-by-minute report summed it up best: 41 min: Possession stats thus far: Stoke 10%, Wolves 22%, Uninhabited Areas of Grass 28%, The Sky 40%

Han Berger's immortal words were again ringing in my ear: "This is not football!"

Now, the reason that this wasn't football isn't because it bored the Britannia Stadium (aka Lionel Messi's kryptonite) into silence.

It is because the hit-and-hope football that both teams had settled for does not bring success over the course of a season.

Some like to say that there are many ways to skin a cat. I'm certainly not condoning cruelty to animals but the gist of this saying, that there are many different ways to approach football is true, history suggests that some methods bring more success than others.

"The table doesn’t lie" is another well-worn football cliche, but for me the current Premier League table tells nothing but the truth, particularly down the bottom.

Few could argue that Wolves, Blackburn Rovers, Bolton Wanderers and Aston Villa have played some of the worst football in England this season.

The long-held wisdom was that the only way to ensure Premier League survival was to employ the kick and chase.

But with Wolves and Blackburn already preparing for the Championship next season, while Wigan and Swansea are looking forward to another year in the top flight, perhaps that way of thinking is changing.

Despite inferior resources compared to the top end of the Premier League, Sporting Intelligence's list of the world’s highest paying sporting teams reveals that even the lower end of the English top flight pay their players more than many clubs in Spain, Italy and even Germany.

For the bosses of the lower tier EPL clubs, there can be no excuse for such an archaic approach to football when teams like Athletic Bilbao produce far more with similar resources.

But a closer look at this list reveals an even more frightening tale.

Last season, Aston Villa was number 41 in the world's highest payers, more than Tottenham Hotspur, Valencia and AS Roma.

While some big name departures last year may have dragged down that wage bill, it would still be in the top half of the Premier League at least.

Yet this team that should by all rights be challenging for European places struggled for top flight survival.

An insight into why Aston Villa is arguably the most under-achieving club in football was revealed by Alexander Hleb, who had the misfortune of playing under Alex Mcleish at Birmingham City last season.

"The day before a game he would come onto the pitch and show us what to do: 'You stand here, the goalkeeper will give you the ball here, kick it as far as you can and don't pass to anyone nearby. And we all run'."

Sitting deep with a well-organised defence and playing the ball into space can be effective in a one-off game, particularly against extremely offensive opponents, as Birmingham demonstrated in the League Cup final last season.

But what its relegation also demonstrated was that this type of football will not bring success over a sustained period, even at the bottom of the ladder.

It is incredible that McLeish, one of the highest paid coaches in world football, according to football finance, saw it fit to continue this hit-and-hope philosophy (I think anyone who's watched Villa would agree his tactics haven't changed) at a club with vastly superior resources and larger ambitions.

This is not about aesthetics. It is about what works and what doesn't.

In football today, sitting deep, knocking it long and hoping for the best doesn't work in any top league, let alone the Premier League.

Even Stoke City, which is regarded as the success story of such a philosophy, has been unable to break into the top half, despite spending over $30 million last off-season.

From what newly promoted Southampton and Reading have shown in Championship they too will adopt a more considered approach, than the kick and run.

The days of 40% possession for the sky in a Premier League match may soon be over.

SHOOTOUT: The rise of the local coaches

Lingering financial problems among many of the A-League’s key investors has signaled an end to the era of foreign coaches and in all probability, expensive foreign players. Clubs simply can’t afford to shell out for that big marquee name and what we are left with is a seller’s market in the coaching ranks.

The evidence of this lies in the recent head coach appointments of John Aloisi at Melbourne Heart, Rado Vidosic at Brisbane Roar and Ange Postecoglou at Melbourne Victory. Add to that Tony Popovic’s pending deal with either of the Sydney clubs and Graham Arnold’s re-signing at Central Coast Mariners and for the first time in the competition’s history, 90 percent of the coaches are locals. Such has been the growth and development of top Australian coaches, that they have posted greater success in the A-League over the past two years than imports. Added to which, locals present a reduced risk or safer investment for immediate return of results.

This process has been really enjoyable to watch, as our locals have been challenged to raise their game and have committed themselves to higher standards of learning, understanding and professionalism to compete with the influx of foreigners.

One thing about Aussies that is guaranteed, we love a challenge and the way our coaches have responded is a credit to each of them. The buck can’t stop here. Every season we want to see someone take the game further forward, challenge the rest, create new thinking and bring us closer to the higher levels of the game.

The adaptation process is still too slow for my liking and the quality of coaching not yet spread across the entire A-League. Every club must have an outstanding practitioner so that every match becomes something that each must prepare for, anticipate and overcome to succeed.

This will come in time.

When reflective on his time coaching in Italy, Jose Mourinho says that the media’s thorough knowledge of the game allows it to hold coaches accountable. On the side pitch you are engaged in a tactical battle with your opposite number from the first whistle to the last.

With each tactical change during a match, there is usually an instant counter-response form the opposing bench, something that shows the very high tactical level across their coaching ranks. This is our aim in the A-League, both within the media and throughout a match. The end result is extremely versatile coaches and, by extension, players.

In the early years of the A-League, it was imperative that the local monopoly and insular coaching community was broken and new methods brought in to change the dynamics of the industry.

The early coaching appointments from abroad were disgraceful, yet they served a purpose of creating an environment where improvement was necessary so local coaches could challenge within a market governed by misconceptions.

We are an island and it is critical we develop an outward-looking culture with a strong institutional focus on constant challenge and learning, otherwise we’ll fall further behind.

This process has not always been a comfortable one - challenge and growth never is - but it has been highly successful and we now have a new way of looking at the game. The methodology is constantly changing to create more professional coaches who are technicians, rather than managers, and all of this takes us forward, step by step.

There are still major issues, like the high cost of coaching licenses, but great progress is being made.

One excellent initiative introduced by Han Berger is a standard of minimum accreditation required for every level of the game.

A few years ago, Berger instituted Football Federation Australia Coaching Scholarships. Alistair Edwards (Joey’s coach), Paul Okon (Young Socceroos), Steve Corica (Sydney FC Youth), Alex Tobin (FNSW TD) and others have since matriculated from this an excellent initiative.

It is pleasing to see that a decade after we started a conversation (well, an argument) about the level of Aussie coaches and the urgent need for education and modern methods, we are now seeing a new generation coming through.

Some have crossed over from previous years, such as Postecoglou, Arnold, Vidosic and Gary van Egmond - all of whom have done or are doing their Pro Licences and had to re-educate themselves - and others are just undertaking their A-Licences now: David Zdrilic, Zeljko Kalac, Kevin Muscat are a few that come to mind.

Aloisi and Popovic took the opportunity as former European professional players to study and become accredited abroad, making them an excellent addition to the collective knowledge base of the domestic game.

So we arrive at a point where, for the first tim, our former players are being educated at a high level thanks to the new structure in place from Berger. Now the game is ready to employ them due in large part to the financial situation locally.

Given their playing backgrounds and experience at higher levels of the game under leading practitioners, I believe the next generation will surpass any we have had to date.

That’s the way it should be, and our former coaches would be delighted to think that is the case, because we all want Australian football to succeed.

After a sometimes painful process which succeeded in changing the level of thinking and challenged everyone to raise their level to survive, they’re ready to begin their development on the job, and that is the most gratifying part of all.

The time-space-ghoulies continuum

It is called managing your talent and if Chelsea's renaissance since Andre Villas Boas's departure is any guide, Roberto Di Matteo is a master at it.

And yet he has been forced on the defensive over his decision to field a weakened team in the Premier League clash against Liverpool, despite fixing the same mob up in the FA Cup final.

With a top-four spot now bust, UEFA Champions League action of next season rests on the Blues besting Bayern Munich next week, with a full-strength, nicely rested squad.

Will Di Matteo's gamble pay off? Only time, or those with the ability to travel through it, can tell.

The Circus asked Guy Pearce this question but unfortunately we asked Guy Pearce from Neighbours, not Guy Pearce from The Time Machine and Guy Pearce from Neighbours didn't think Liverpool beating Chelsea 4-1 was such a big deal.

Neighbours Guy Pearce is from 1985 after all.

He also expressed surprised at the outcome of this challenge because, even in the 80s, this kind of thing was a red card:

"He kicked me straight in the balls," Emre said rather unnecessarily of Didier Zokora's challenge. "I thank Allah I already have a child." He did not thank Allah for being kicked in the balls, however.

Zokora was reacting to a perceived racist taunt from Belozoglu proving revenge is not, as previously thought, a dish best served cold but a dish best served by kicking someone in the balls.

Perhaps this is the type or reprisal that has England manager Roy Hodgson wondering whether he should include John Terry in the same squad as Rio Ferdinand.

Pick him, Roy, pick him.

Red Dragons' blues

Cardiff City's Malaysian owners are considering a strip change but not any old strip change. They want the Bluebirds to turn into the Red Dragons.

That's like Everton becoming Manchester United, Melbourne Victory turning into Adelaide United or blue blood Christopher Pyne becoming a card carrying official of Health Services United.

Such effrontery to tradition had Neighbours Guy Pearce aghast. Time Machine Guy Pearce was too busy fighting Morlocks to care.

But surely the move will confuse age-old rivalries, and not just ones confined to the football pitch:

Of course, studies show red teams win more, which explains why Wales itself is such an international football powerhouse.

Not Pachabel's Canon

Polish authorities have developed a crowd control device to quell rowdy mobs at the 2012 European Championship.

It is a sound cannon and it emits such a boom as to render yobs yobless.

Trouble is, it may also cause deafness. So it's probably just safer to give a megaphone to Gary Linekar.

Spoken word

"I got an offer from China that was truly impossible to refuse. The offer is startling in a financial sense. It is unbelievable. The money is really great. I haven't signed it yet. I have to talk with my family, primarily my beautiful wife, but honestly I'm on the verge of making the decision to sign for a Chinese club. I have pretty much decided because, as I said, it's an offer that can't be refused. I believe I will sign the contract." – Danijel Pranjic indicates that a move to China is on the cards. Skilled observers may note that money seems to be a motivating factor.

It was the interviewer’s curious scepticism of the likely fruits borne by the 2015 Asian Cup, to be hosted by Australia, to which McGuire referred as a possible ‘lemon’.

Respected Sydney Morning Herald columnist Richard Hinds later echoed this notion.

"So disastrous was the 2022 World Cup bid, and so parlous the state of the game's finances, only partially revealed in the sanitised final version of the Smith report, there is a natural cynicism about the FFA's ability to run the event," Hinds said.

Where does this come from, this mysterious, unexplained hypothesis that Football Federation Australia is somehow incapable of organising the 2015 Asian Cup? Where is the evidence for the ‘natural cynicism’? And who says there is any?

First, Australia has an impeccable record in organising major international events. And you can include in this the football events and those mounted by this country’s football governors over the years.

The 1981 and 1993 FIFA World Youth Cups hosted by Australia, each with 16 participants like the Asian Cup, went off seamlessly. Both were organised by a governing body which is unkindly recalled by some today as a herd of donkeys.

The current regime’s only major international event so far, the FIFA Congress in Sydney in 2007, full of ceremony, pomp and protocol, went off without the most minor glitch.

Indeed, apart from the botch of the Marston Medal affair in Brisbane this year, you cannot fault much-maligned FFA for its event management.

But, in any case, let’s stop for a second and consider what will define the 2015 Asian Cup as a success.

Richard Hinds for instance asks how hard it will be to fill an Australian stadium for a match between, say, Oman and Uzbekistan. A decent question, but not entirely relevant to what the real challenges and opportunities of the tournament are.

The Asian Cup is riddled with games with small crowds and which do not excite the citizenry of the host nation. They happened in Qatar in 2011 and in the tournament before it, hosted jointly by Indonesia, Thailand, Malaysia and Vietnam.

Yet each tournament has been deemed to have been a success, because of the vast TV audiences it reached across the Asian continent and the brand enrichment it delivered for Asian football. And for the hosts.

This is the opportunity for Australia (if only someone would tell Eddie McGuire).

As I have argued in this space many times before, football is a major vehicle, THE major vehicle, by which Australia as a nation has an opportunity to engage with Asia in the ‘Asian century’. This is a claim no other sport can make. This is the reason why Lowy’s desire to have us host the Asian Cup is both astute and admirable.

It’s not just about football. It’s about us as a nation and about where we want to belong.

In 2015 Australia will be hosting the Asian Cup, the first time an Asian championship of any sport will be held on our soil. Think of what that will say to its audiences both in Australia and across the Asian continent.

It will tell Australians that, despite the map-makers, we are part of Asia. It will tell Asians that we are among them and want to be among them.

The audiences for the tournament will number in the hundreds of millions. Australia will be a showcase to the world’s largest continent, of which we are now inextricably part and want to be for our own survival as an economically prosperous nation.

That will be the measure of an Australia-hosted Asian Cup’s success or otherwise.

There will be the odd dull game and there might be some games where the hot dog sellers will outnumber the crowd (though I doubt it).

But a ‘lemon’ it will not be.

The art of bringing down Man United

The Premier League title race may not yet be officially over but unless Queen Park Rangers can pull off an unlikely draw at Etihad Stadium (where the Citizens have dropped just two points all season), it may as well be.

Just weeks ago, Manchester City looked like it had blown its shot to beat its cross-town rival, but thanks to Yaya Toure's brace against Newcastle United the title looks certain to be headed its way for the first time in 44 years.

At a cost to the club of roughly $127, one would have expected Toure to deliver in the club's clutch moment. After all, he is worth about the same amount of coin as Edvard Munch's The Scream.

The similarities between Toure and the iconic masterpiece don't end there. There are multiple versions of The Scream in existence, which have not fetched as much in the marketplace – just like Yaya's older brother Kolo, who he sometimes plays with, and younger brother Ibrahim, who plays out his football in Egypt.

Both Munch's painting and Toure have also turned Sir Alex Ferguson into a figure of ridicule.

Still, if Fergie wants to work up the funds to bring his own Yaya Toure to the Red Devils, perhaps he could try selling his own artwork.

Then again, perhaps not.

It's just like the end of term

With its lowest finish in the Premier League era a very real possibility, ninth-placed Liverpool faces the prospect of ending its season being jeered off Swansea's Liberty Stadium by thousands of Elvis impersonators.

"The bookies said there was more chance of seeing Elvis than us staying at this level. As a show of our achievement, we'll ask the fans to do that," Swansea boss Brendan Rogers said after a 2-0 loss to Manchester United that kept the title race open until the final weekend.

The Circus desperately hopes this idea catches on, if only to give life and meaning to mid-table clashes that won't decide anything.

For a start, Fulham supporters should have no trouble frocking up as the king of pop after club chairman Mohamed Al Fayed conveniently provided them with a giant scale model.

And Manchester City fans could do worse than adopt Liam Gallagher's distinctive style. Certainly, the Oasis man is going to need the cover of thousands when he a) goes on a month-long bender after City win the title or b) invades the Etihad Stadium pitch to personally throttle Carlos Tevez should United get up.

But even if every seat at the Liberty is occupied by a rhinestone-clad behemoth grunting unintelligibly about burning, burning love, Swansea has some way to go before it dethrones the reigning champion of Football League fancy dress.

Dear Circus readers, feast your eyes on the Hartlepool United Smurfs.

The spoken word

"Mark knows his job. He was sacked by City in a very unethical way and he will remember that. Mark Hughes's teams always fight but QPR players are fighting for survival. The whole future of the club could be resting on the game and I only wish Sparky was playing." – Sir Alex Ferguson gives QPR manager Mark Hughes the biggest pump-up speech of his life, in the hope he can engineer a miracle against Manchester City next week.

Perennial powerhouse Bayern Munich would be most neutrals' favourite to land the UEFA Champions League trophy when it meets Chelsea in the final at the Fußball Arena Munchen on 20 May (AEST).

Germany will go into the European championship in Poland and Ukraine with a 100 per cent record in qualifying and with a blistering form to match.

A famous double is certainly on the cards.

Such a feat should come as no surprise because Europe's second most successful country at club and national level, behind Italy, deserves any silverware it can lay its hands on at the moment.

It does so because the Germans, in typical fashion, knuckled down and went back to the drawing board after a period of abject mediocrity at the turn of the century.

The Bundesliga is now recognised as the best run competition in the world. This is a result of sound management whereby all its clubs realise there is more to football than making money at the fans’ expense.

Fans are treated as part of the football family not as a commodity.

Ticket prices are among the cheapest in Europe and you can watch champion Borussia Dortmund at its 80,000 capacity Signal Iduna Park - which is nearly always full - for as little as $15. That's cheaper than an A-League ticket.

Clubs also are obliged to limit the number of season tickets so anyone gets an opportunity to watch the games and every away team has the right to 10 per cent of available tickets.

This sensible management that is the antithesis of corporate greed essentially recognises that the fan is king, which is probably the reason the Bundesliga has an average gate of more than 40,000, which is the highest among Europe's big five leagues.

The special relationship between the corporate side of the game and its supporters has brought about a resurgence in interest in the game that is also rubbing off on the national team.

Germany's Mannshaft was a sorry and pitiful sight at EURO 2000 in the Netherlands and Belgium and at the 2004 titles in Portugal when it surrendered meekly in the group stage without winning a single game.

In between, Germany surprisingly and rather fortunately reached the 2002 FIFA World Cup final against Brazil in Yokohama without convincing anyone, least of all itself, that it had turned the corner.

Everything changed, however, at the 2006 World Cup on home soil.

Jurgen Klinsmann's team played the most exciting football in the tournament and, with the whole country behind it, stormed into the semi-final before it ran into old rival Italy and lost 2-0 in a Dortmund dazzler.

New coach Joachim Low continued Klinsmann's good work by taking Germany all the way to the final of the 2008 European championship in Vienna, where it lost 1-0 to Spain.

The Spaniards proved to be Germany's nemesis once again at the 2010 World Cup in South Africa.

Low's troops again were the finest and much admired entertainers of the tournament but they fell to a late header from Carles Puyol in the semi-final.

So Germany has nothing to show for playing such adventurous football during the last six years, although few would argue that in this period it probably has been the most consistent if not the best team in the world.

The three-time world and European champion has an excellent opportunity to make EURO 2012 another tournament to remember, holder Spain permitting of course.

Bayern can start the ball rolling by winning its fifth European Cup/Champions League title at Chelsea's expense on its home ground and catch Liverpool in third place on the all-time winners' list behind Real Madrid (nine) and AC Milan (seven).

German fans have every reason to feel good again about their football.

Adriano: not so jolly anymore

Brazilian side Flamengo is considering re-signing striker Adriano, who had two previous stints with the club. Club president Patricia Amorim has described the move as a risk, and clearly this is not only because the former Inter Milan and Roma forward had stitches removed on Monday after undergoing surgery on his left Achilles tendon.

Adriano is considering legal action against his most recent employer, Corinthians, which sacked him in March after he missed 67 training sessions.

Having lasted just seven months of his three-year contract with the Sao Paolo-based club, Adriano claims Corinthians locked him up in an attempt to force him to lose weight.

"They kept me in the hotel against my will," he told Globo TV, before volunteering his opinion on Sao Paulo itself in terms which may shed further light on the reasons for his sacking.

"It's a nice place, with many food options. But I'm from Rio and I'm used to the beach."

Six of one ...

The Circus can't decide which is more ridiculous.

This ...

Or this?

Wellbeing latest

Fiorentina manager Delio Rossi is in the same boat as Adriano (a boat which, presumably, would be very low in the water at one end).

Rossi has been fired for a dugout scrap with striker Adem Ljajic, who sarcastically applauded Rossi after being substituted during a league match with Serie A rival Novara.

Fiorentina president Andrea Della Valle sacked Rossi immediately after the match, saying: "I spoke with him and he's prepared to apologise, but this was a choice that had to be made.

"It's a choice I should never have had to make, but there is no justification for Delio Rossi's actions. The firing is for his well being. He's a great person."

Prophet news

Neymar is capable of predicting the future, according to his Santos teammate Paulo Henrique Ganso. The Brazilian teenager scored his 100th goal for Santos on Sunday, bagging a hat-trick in his side's 3-1 win over Sao Paulo in the semi-finals of the Campeonato Paulista.

"He is a genius and a prophet," said Ganso. "We were in camp and he told me: 'It will be 3-1 to us, we will open up 2-0, we will concede a goal and then we will suffer pressure before adding a final goal.'

"He is a genius."

Last week, Santos's prophet/genius defended his reputation for metrosexuality and hook-ups with models: "It's not just footballers who go to orgies. Yes, I go, but I never join in."

He added: "I'm not pretty like Beckham, but I do buy clothes, I do take care. I shave my legs with a little machine I have. I do it in team meetings."

The spoken word

"The people have spoken. We need wins now, or more disgust will follow." - Racing president Gastón Cogorno reacts after fans mocked their own players by throwing crutches at them. Racing is fourth from bottom in Argentina's Primera A with three wins from 12, having already sacked striker Teofilo Gutierrez this season for threatening his teammates with a paintball gun.

The home side had just beaten Lanus of Argentina 2-1 in the first leg of their Copa Libertadores tie, but even so the Rio fans were furious with their coach.

Cristovao Borges is a thoroughly nice guy who has done a wonderful job in charge of Vasco. But after a two goal halftime lead the supporters were not at all happy with the final score or the substitutions he had made. Borges was taunted with obscene chants as he made his way across the field to the dressing rooms. His players made a point of surrounding him and walking off together, an impressive show of solidarity. As they all disappeared down the tunnel and I made my way off into the Rio night, my thoughts turned to Clarence Seedorf.

It might not seem an obvious connection. But it comes the from the fact that a strong possibility exists that Seedorf might soon be playing for a Brazilian club. Vasco’s Rio neighbour Botafogo made an attempt to sign him last year. That fell through, but it is back again this time, with more chance of success. Seedorf is known to be tempted. He has a Brazilian wife, speaks Portuguese and has a flat in Rio. After two decades of success in Europe, why not have a tropical adventure at the tail end of his career?

He is not the only one. Florent Malouda of Chelsea and France has frequently expressed a desire to have a spell in Brazilian football before he retires. Such moves are becoming increasingly feasible, with Brazil’s economic boom enabling its clubs to pay European-style wages. We are in the global age. Culturally curious footballers can move from country to country accumulating different experiences, and Brazil will certainly offer them that.

My doubt, though, hangs over the question of whether this type of thing is better in theory than it is in practise. The treatment handed out the other night to Cristovao Borges only increased my concerns.

Presumably with his Brazilian connections Clarence Seedorf has some idea of what he might be letting himself in for if he trades Milan for Botafogo. But I am not sure that many others do.

Is Malouda aware, for example, that average crowds in US Major League Soccer are higher than those in the Brazilian first division? Those looking for unbridled football passion can often be disappointed by Brazil. For all of the enormous importance the game commands in national life, that passion can be turned full on for big games and left on very low heat at other times. Vasco’s crowd on Thursday night, for in theory the biggest game it has played so far this year, was down below 10,00 paying fans.

The day to day life of a footballer also has its drawbacks. For a start there is the calendar. In the early months of the year it is full of meaningless games against insignificant opponents in the State Championships. In the Rio championship even the biggest clubs have been playing matches in front of 1500 fans or less.

Then, with no mid-year break, there is the relentless national championship - much higher in quality but containing some long trips up and down this giant country. Especially irritating would be the amount of time that the players spend locked up in hotels before matches.

This practise, the CONCENTRACAO, is rooted in Brazilian paternalism, in the belief that left to their own devices the players will drink and womanise with the zeal of sailors on shore leave. A vastly experienced European player is likely to find it extremely vexing.

And this, also, is part of the concern. Almost all big name European players tempted by a tropical adventure will be at the veteran stage. There are exceptions. Serbian playmaker Dejan Petkovic was shrewd enough to realise that while he could not tip the balance in top level European football, in Brazil he could be a big fish. He enjoyed a highly successful career, especially with the Flamengo club.

But since the Brazilian game can offer nothing close to the challenge of the Champions League, most of the big name Europeans it could attract will be in the process of winding down their playing days.

This has serious implications, especially for midfielders. Brazilian football is different. As national team coach Mano Menezes recently remarked, in a tone of regret, in Brazil the defensive lines tend to operate much deeper than elsewhere. Veterans used to the compact midfields of Europe are in for a shock. There is lots of space to cover, enough for relatively old legs to feel the strain. After almost a decade away international holding midfielder Gilberto Silva moved back to Brazil last year to join Gremio. He soon lost his place in midfield, and has mostly featured at centre back.

The likes of Seedorf and Malouda might not find it easy to adapt to playing in the midfield of a Brazilian club. Should they fall short of expectations their failure will be high profile - for the amount of money they earn, for the prestige they possess and for the mere fact of being European.

Brazilian supporters can be notoriously intolerant in such circumstances. If they can turn against Cristovao Borges after his team has won, imagine their reaction to the failure of a big money European import.

Getting behind the new man

Maybe having an Englishman in charge of the English football team unsettles some people. Maybe it makes them feel racially culpable, as if not having a foreign coach is an act of bigotry.

Maybe that's why some members of the English press welcomed Roy Hodgson to the job of national team manager by bringing up his past as a player in apartheid-era South Africa.

You can see how the matter is relevant to team selection and tactics. "Roy, you gonna play four at the back? Oh, and is Rio going to have to ride up the back of the bus?"

The implication, The Circus assumes, is that Hodgson is a fascist. So much the better for English football. After all, look at how well Germany, Spain and Italy have performed on the global stage. And Brazil? Well, we've all seen that movie, haven't we? We all know their dirty little secret.

Or maybe, just maybe, the affairs of 40 years ago – especially when they involved the impact one English footballer had on the sociopolitical situation of South Africa – are completely irrelevant. Hodgson’s slight speech impediment, on the other hand... now that’s a matter that needs thorough investigation.

A wee dram... I mean, just a small one, love

Foreign accent syndrome is a real life thingy. We know because it's on Wikipedia.

Imagine if Sir Alex Ferguson was affected by FAS. Imagine how much more entertaining his sideline fracases would be if, instead of screaming like an irascible Scot, he suddenly started screaming like Kenneth Williams, or Desmond Tutu, or Steve McLaren.

Whether that would quell his urges to almost punch people like Roberto Mancini is another matter, particularly if Liam Gallagher can be believed:

“Fergie’s been on the whiskey,” was one of the (former? current? future?) Oasis frontman’s zingers in case you missed it. Of course, when it comes to authorities on whiskey consumption, Liam is like David Attenborough to dung beetles. So his words should carry a certain gravitas.

Although they'd carry more gravitas if he woke up one day speaking like Roy Hodgson, at least according to The Sun.

Did I do that?

Alexander Soderlund is a relaxed kind of cove. He's oh so casual, oh so cool, oh so lame:

Cats, mats and the act of sitting

Not content with virtually killing Manchester United’s title defence, Manchester City is now taunting its cross-town rival with the basest insult known to humankind: poetry.

Asked if City is, like, so over United now, David Silva said: “We beat them here, we beat them there.”

“We beat them bleedin’ everywhere,” he didn’t add. The fool. The crazy, mad, adorable fool.

The Circus understands other teams, keen to replicate Manchester City’s now likely premiership success, are searching for a player capable of rhyming couplets. They are also after a lunatic and a really expensive striker who hates the team, the city, the manager and isn’t too keen on actually training or playing.

The spoken word

"I am getting stronger every day. I am happy to be back I am just happy to be able to speak to people again and walk freely."

- Recovering heart attack victim and Bolton player Francis Muamba reflects on bigger things than football before the match against Spurs.

What started with a throwaway comment from Miron Bleiberg to the media, when Mitch Cooper was appointed Gold Coast captain, has resulted in the most turbulent period in the game since the end of the National Soccer League.

Gold Coast is now gone; the formation of Clive Palmer's breakaway Football Australia; rumours cash-strapped Central Coast Mariners may hand back its licence; news Nathan Tinkler would be handing back the Newcastle Jets Licence; the birth of a Western Sydney club and FFA's subsequent declaration the team would be ready for the pre-season; Adelaide United's shirt sponsorship gaffe and somewhere in all that, a grand final decided on a controversial penalty decision.

How refreshing was it then to finally receive some good news this week, with FFA and Tinkler's Hunter Sports Group having patched up their differences, with the latter to continue its involvement with Newcastle Jets?

My relief that this one was sorted out is twofold.

First of all, while Tinkler is not a 'football person' in the traditional sense, the way he has managed the Jets (aside perhaps from the past four weeks) is a template on which the whole competition should be based.

Cheap ticket prices, bundled family packages, community engagement, affiliation with schools and local clubs, have all been hallmarks of Tinkler's re-structure of the club.

If nothing else, Tinkler understands how to reach the people that make up his key demographic and that is something all the other clubs should pay attention to.

What the conciliation talks between FFA and Tinkler's Hunter Sports Group also showed is that the governing body looks to have started evolving in the way it manages the competition and its key investors.

Tinkler, and to a less diplomatic extent Palmer, voiced some very real concerns they had with the way the game was being managed and, after a period of brinkmanship, FFA appears to have listened.

The establishment of the Joint A-League Strategic Committee is a step towards improving the way the game is run from the top down and ensuring viability for all its investors, from the big money men running the clubs, to the fans paying every week to watch their team.

These are small steps which give me great optimism for the future of the competition. I want to see the A-League succeed and I'm really excited by the positive steps that have come as a result of what was a very bleak period in the game.

It remains to be seen whether 2011-2012 is the watershed season so many are hoping it will be.

I had the privilege of sitting on the panel at the West Sydney Forum in Campbelltown on Tuesday night and I was really encouraged by the noises being made on both sides of the fence.

The main themes that emerged were establishing a club that upholds the culture and values of western Sydney football, getting the playing staff and style to ensure an attractive brand of football and implementing game day fees and kick-off times that will most benefit the people of Sydney's west.

With six forums down and one to go, it seems like western Sydney will have a club it can claim to be its own, with colours, a name and logo to be proud of and a culture of and for the people.

Despite the challenging time-frame, this is a great step for the A-League and one that fills me with hope for the future.

How not to park the bus, by Manchester United

Finally, the Biggest Game in Premier League History (TM) has been played and won, to a little surprise, by Manchester City. Vincent Kompany's header could well be the goal that decides the title race, with City now leading United on goal difference with two games to play.

However, the result wasn't the only surprise on the night. The Red Devils got done by playing a rather un-United brand of football, in stark contrast to their pre-match banter in the press.

Fergie on April 28: "We'd have to be happy if we got a draw but we won't be talking about going there not to lose because that's not the way we play."

'Keeper David de Gea on game day: "We won't park the bus or try to get a point. We don't know how to do it and that would mean giving them the advantage on the match."

Apparently Fergie's definition of "not parking the bus" involves a starting XI with just one striker (Wayne Rooney) and a five-man midfield shielding a back four. The result? Five attempted shots, none of which troubled Joe Hart in the City goal.

Next thing you know, Sir Alex will find a way to blame the referees for United's woes.

Oh, hang on ...

Honest John's real apology to Chelsea fans

John Terry's written apology for getting sent off in the Champions League semi-final against Barcelona has gone some way to appeasing the restless natives at Stamford Bridge.

However, the Circus can reveal Terry's letter underwent several revisions before appearing in the match-day programme. Here is the first draft, as delivered to Circus Towers by a combination of carrier pigeon, paper aeroplane and a Sergio Ramos spot kick:

"I want to start by saying how sorry I am that I didn't do a better job of temporarily crippling that prat Sanchez at the Camp Nou. I honestly thought it was Xavi in front of me and everyone knows Barca are rubbish without him.

"Anyway, the least I could have done was take one of them out if I was going to risk a red. Eye for an eye and all that, y'know? Robbie made me say sorry to the other players (including that overpaid nancy boy Torres) and the staff after the game. Even the ones I didn't know the names of.

"When it suits me, I'm big enough to come out and man up when I make a mistake like I did on Tuesday. But let's be clear - the Wayne Bridge thing and the Anton Ferdinand thing and the corporate box thing weren't mistakes. They were just misunderstandings. However, I'm really, properly sorry I won't be playing in the final because the boys won't have a hope without me.

"For the boys to actually draw the game after losing their best player was honestly one of the biggest flukes I have seen since I have been at Chelsea. Ramires' goal was incredible - when he tries them at training, Petr doesn't even have to make a save. He just stands there laughing.

"And it was not just the result, but the way they played. They parked the bus better than any team I've ever seen - even Derby when they were really rubbish, or Italy.

"The nancy boy even scored, although it was another cheap nasty goal that didn't really matter. His days of Premier League hat-tricks are long gone. I was really proud to see the lads get through, because I honestly gave them no hope without me. It's a pity they're going to get absolutely stuffed in Munich, though."

By the numbers

44 - years since Manchester City's first top-flight title

8 - Manchester United's points lead over City on April 8, with eight games left

4 - Points won by United in the four following games

3 - The points gap between City and United before the Manchester derby, won by City

0 - teams to have won the EPL title after trailing by three points with three games to play

The spoken word

"It's tough but we have to look at the positives. We need two monumental performances and two massive results. We've got Wigan up next, if we beat Wigan we go to Chelsea and we keep going, keep chasing. We've had many monumental performances this season. Some really good home wins, some back-to-back clean sheets. We'll probably need that again and I have trust and faith in the lads."

– Blackburn did not manage a single shot on goal against Tottenham on the weekend, and the Rovers only had 29 per cent of the possession in the game. Nevertheless, manager Steve Kean keeps looking for the positives.

But unlike Costanza, Guardiola’s parting words were sincere and there is no doubt that after four years at the helm of the Spanish giants, the 41 year-old is burnt out.

He exits the Camp Nou for a much-deserved sabbatical, leaving as the most successful coach Barcelona has ever had.

Yet it’s not the 13 trophies that the club won under his guidance that will be Guardiola’s lasting legacy.

It won’t even be that he made cardigans and baldness fashionable (cheers for that one, Pep).

What this coaching genius will be remembered for are the tactical and strategic innovations that have the potential to change football.

Every so often a coach comes along who thinks about football differently.

There was Herbert Chapman who initiated the W-M system. Mario Zagallo was a pioneer of the attacking full-back; Helenio Herrera is regarded as the father of catenaccio. Rinus Michels invented total football, while Arrigo Sacchi’s uncompromising pressing turned a conservative era into a progressive one.

When football historians study the past decade, they may well look at Guardiola’s innovations in a similar light.

For a large part of the last decade, common wisdom held that football was becoming more athletic and that to win titles you needed powerful athletes.

Tim Vickery has written about Brazil’s move from a focus on the technical to the physical in recent years.

As teams became supremely organised defensively, space was at a premium and games would usually be decided by individual brilliance, transitions or from set pieces.

Under Frank Rijkaard, Barcelona – whose philosophy was never about the physical – began to challenge this thinking, as his side began to dominate with organised attacks.

But failure to build on their 2006 Champions League triumph emboldened critics, who believed their unconditional pro-active philosophy would not bring about sustained success.

That changed when Guardiola was named the Dutchman’s successor in 2008. He brought with him an education in the Barcelona way, but a spell in Italy with Brescia coupled with an inquisitive mind and a desire for perfection allowed him to refine Barca’s system.

As Simon Kuper points out, one of Guardiola’s great innovations was to alter Barcelona’s defensive pressing.

This is perhaps the greatest difference between his and Rijkaard’s side. When Barcelona lose the ball now, the transition into defence is immediate and the pressure so intense, few teams can keep the ball for any meaningful amount of time.

No doubt Pep was inspired by Marcelo Bielsa’s pressing philosophy, but the brilliance of the Barca boss was to convince Messi that it started with him – if Messi had to do it, than there could be no argument from anyone else.

Many point to defence as Barca’s great weakness, but under Pep it has always had the best defensive record in Spain – even this season it has conceded four less goals than Real Madrid.

What helps Pep’s side win the ‘second balls’ so easily is that there are never gaping spaces between the players, even when they attack. As Cruyff reportedly told Steve McLaren: "Do you know how Barcelona win the ball back so quickly? It's because they don't have to run back more than 10 metres as they never pass the ball more than 10 metres."

Barcelona is able to keep possession in such tight areas because its players have excellent technique, but also because they have football intelligence.

Each player’s first touch is always away from pressure and they position themselves perfectly to keep the ball moving forward. Gerard Pique once said that Guardiola not only tells them where to run, but also why.

The Barcelona boss has implemented other innovations too, like moving Lionel Messi from the right into a ‘false nine’ position, using wingers like Dani Alves as defenders and deploying midfielders like Javier Mascherano as centre-backs.

Pep’s insistence that technical ability and intelligence is the key to success has been so effective that small, gifted players are once again in vogue – even Chelsea, who so often relied on heavyweights, have recently signed featherweight attackers Juan Mata and Marko Marin.

Barcelona’s success under Guardiola has also inspired others to follow suit.

Coaches like Jurgen Klopp, Andre Villas-Boas and Brendan Rodgers may not be direct disciples of Guardiola, but their insistence on possession and pressing is becoming more favourable to club bosses who want to replicate the ‘Barca’ or the ‘Guardiola’ way.

The question that remains is can Pep replicate this success at another club?

No matter what happens at his next job, Guardiola’s legacy to football will outlast any championship celebration.

Comiat Pep, el futbol li dóna les gràcies (Goodbye Joe, football thanks you).

Barcelona's sensational demise at the hands of Real Madrid and Chelsea in the two competitions that mean most to the Catalan giant has been aptly described as the club's “three darkest days”.

Elimination from the UEFA Champions League by Chelsea and the effective loss of La Liga to Real Madrid sparked a frenzied reaction from those fans who had grown sick and tired of the 'Azulgrana' sweeping all before them at home and abroad for the last four years.

The vitriolic response to Barca's failure was reminiscent to that which greeted the demise of Europe's other great side AC Milan of Franco Baresi, Marco Van Basten and Ruud Gullit in the 1990s.

Arrigo Sacchi's players were widely regarded as a breath of fresh air to the game but after a few dominant years many fans could not wait to see the back of them.

Same story today: it did not quite matter which team beat Barca, as long as it got beaten … even if it were by such an unadventurous side as Chelsea.

Roberto di Matteo's side was hailed as heroic and brave for its performance in Spain and it is certainly no mean feat to score twice at Camp Nou with 11 men, let alone 10.

It was definitely a heroic display but I'm not sure about the 'brave' bit. We tend to use this word very loosely in sport.

You show bravery when you take on a team like Barcelona face to face not park the bus for 180 minutes and hope for the best.

To be fair, Chelsea deserves full credit for picking the right tactics in a tie it was not expected to win, same as Inter Milan did against Barca at the same stage two years ago.

Let's hope the Blues, who will have four key men out of the final through suspension, do not play for penalties against Bayern Munich and ruin the occasion.

One suspects that the snide remarks about Barcelona and its unexpected fall are not directed at Pep Guardiola's team itself but at hundreds of commentators who never failed to underline the excellence of its football that took the club game to a new level.

Barcelona, with Andres Iniesta, Xavi Hernandez and Lionel Messi pulling the strings, established itself as one of Europe's all-time great sides in the last four years.

It deserves recognition, respect and gratitude from all football lovers for its refreshing approach to football.

So it is utterly baffling how anybody can possibly be accused of one-eyed bias when commenting on such a wonderful side that has given pleasure to tens of millions of fans around the world.

Thirteen major trophies in four seasons - and possibly 14 if Barca beats Athletic Bilbao in the Copa del Rey final in May - leaves no room for doubt, especially since all that silverware came in a most convincing and entertaining manner.

The only less-than-convincing victory recorded by Barca in this golden period of its history came in its semi-final against Chelsea in 2009, when it survived two strong penalty appeals in the return at Stamford Bridge before scoring a last-gasp goal from Iniesta.

Mind you, Barca was still the better and more positive team over two legs.

Barcelona's decision to appoint Tito Vilanova as head coach is a testament to the club's determination not to rock the boat and maintain its highly productive and unique style of play.

With so many champions at his disposal, Vilanova will be expected to keep Barca at the forefront of the world game by playing its unique brand of crisp, short-passing football.

Fans who love the game for its pure skills would be hoping that Barca's crash last week was just a hiccup or an accident and normal service will be resumed next season.

If that does not happen, then it would be time to start penning the obituaries.

Thankfully, we have not reached that point in time yet.

Football Survival Skills - a Circus community service. No.3: bees

What do you do if your football match is invaded by a swarm of killer bees? Your first instinct, if you are like The Circus, is probably to stealthily approach each bee from behind and knee it John Terry-style where you imagine you would find its tiny kidneys. But, like the Circus, you would be wrong.

This footage from Brazil demonstrates that the correct survival technique is what football would be if it were combined with the classic children's party game Heads Down, Thumbs Up.

Incidentally, the YouTube ad served when The Circus watched this clip was titled 'Every cigarette you don't smoke is doing you good'. Whereas in this instance, of course, taking to the field with a cigarette would also be a legitimate survival strategy.

Missed it (by that much)

Sergio Ramos's penalty from the UEFA Champions League semi-final second leg shootout has, according to astronomers, stabilised and is now in an elliptical orbit around the earth. Still, at least Sergio is in good, if not downright hallowed company.

Demonstrating that even football's best go to pot under pressure, here's the peerless Michel Platini.

The incomparable Roberto Baggio:

And Charlie Adam, who takes a nice corner:

Ronaldo: the original and best

Despite Real Madrid's UCL exit, Ronaldo is having a great season for the La Liga giants. Only, if you get your football news from the Times of India, he's not the Ronaldo you might expect.

The original Ronaldo (big-boned Ronaldo, not the UCL penalty-missing Ronaldo, or the Ronaldo who appears in this work of Photoshopped genius depicting Mesut Ozil's day at the sales) was in the UK during the week for the Olympic football draw.

After endearing himself to the assembled reporters by not knowing who Gareth Bale was, Ronaldo was asked for his thoughts on England's hopes at Euro 2012. Which young players did he think were up to world standards?

"Beckham and Lampard and the whole Man United team ... Michael Owen," he said.

Ah yes. The future looks bright.

Feud of the month

A $2500 fine for calling rival UAE Pro League coach Cosmin Olaroiu "rude" has not wearied Diego Maradona.

This was after Al-Ain coach Olaroiu said: "Maradona doesn't always have a clear mind because of his life. He doesn't wish to have the brain clear all the time. I don't take drugs, my life is clear, I don't do anything."

Asked to reflect on his fine, Maradona cheerfully picked up where he left off: "He's just a very rude person, really impolite. He even offered to shake hands with me after my mother died, but I totally refused. I do not shake hands with rude people."

That's another $5000 by The Circus's count, and Maradona put in the boots again when the two sides met, accusing Olaroiu of provocatively celebrating his title-hunting side's late equaliser in a 2-2 draw.

"He doesn't deserve reconciliation. I will congratulate his team if they win the league. But I've had 30 years of experience and I know how to treat others. What he did has not changed my opinion of him."

The spoken word

"There is so much communication during the championships that we want to limit it to meetings with the media.” – SpokesDane Lars Berendt announces the Danish FA's decision to ban players from Twitter during Euro 2012.

A ruling on whether Denmark players will still be allowed to stumble into takeaways, bellow "Do you not know who I am?" and demand free pizza is believed to be forthcoming.

Now, before you clamour angrily for the comments section, ask yourself, in how many other ball sports would you have a team dominating possession 79 per cent to 21 per cent and lose, as Barcelona did in the first leg of the semi-final tie against Chelsea?

By its very nature football is a game of and for the underdog. The objective is simple, with only one way to score. The tactical capacity is immense.

As a result, when a lesser light does achieve the seemingly impossible and qualifies for a final at the expense of a favourite, such as Chelsea did, the sub-plots emerge like twists in a long-running soap opera.

Chelsea is playing under an interim coach having sacked its manager mid-season amid a crisis of confidence and form. The Blues may not even compete on the continental stage next season having muddled their way through the better part of the Premier League campaign.

If form was a guide, Chelsea should never have made it past the group stage, let alone beaten what is considered one of the best attacking club teams in the game's history, over two legs.

Roberto Di Matteo, with his coaching future on the line, has galvanised his much-maligned squad of villains, veterans, heroes and one very well-paid underperforming striker to achieve the football equivalent of David’s knockout win over Goliath.

Fittingly said striker, Fernando Torres, iced the cake and enhanced his unusual reputation for scoring against Barcelona at the Nou Camp.

Whether you love or hate Chelsea, you can't deny it will be a melting pot of fascinating storylines and personalities that converges on Munich in a month.

Chelsea's UCL finale opponent, Bayern Munich, is its own travelling circus of talent, egos and side plots. The German giant missed out on the domestic title for the second season running – the first time it hasn't won the Bundesliga for two straight years since the period from 1992-1996.

Amid undulating from and rumours of a half-time bust-up between emotional basket cases Frank Ribery and Arjen Robben, Bayern beat up on an unusually reserved Real Madrid to set up its chance at achieving a fairytale in front of a home crowd.

If Real Madrid v Barcelona had the potential to excite the Fußball Arena Munchen crowd, Bayern's presence has guaranteed it.

What football fans won't get is the Clasico final Europe has never had, but this is not a bad thing considering the emotion both Bayern and Chelsea will throw at each other as they desperately fight for the one piece of silverware they crave more than any other.

If we take the last Primera Liga Clasico - one that may well decide the title - as a guide of what the UCL decider may have been like, Barcelona looked flat and Real Madrid played without its usual dogged desperation.

Gone were the fights, the tantrums the emotion-charged touches of play, to be replaced by a team that looked lethargic and out of ideas in attack. On that couldn't land the killer blow against a team that sat back and waited for opportunities to counter-attack.

If nothing else, Bayern Munich 'hosting' Chelsea promises to be a truly gripping contest befitting of a sport when more often than not, form counts for little on the day.