Off the Pitch: Keegan states the obvious

Keegan... A pessimist or realist? (Action Images)

Everton may have done is a couple of years ago but Magpies 'messiah' Kevin Keegan can't see anyone inflitrating English Premier League's top four in the near future.

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He’s famous for his eternal optimism but last week Newcastle United’s main man, Kevin Keegan, turned… shall we say pessimistic (as opposed to realistic perhaps) after stating the inevitability of seeking anything better than fifth place against England’s top four. Of course since the infamous declaration, Keegan has been called everything under the sun. Brave and cowardly to name a few but more importantly, he’s also been called in to meet with the clubs owner as well. Hmmmm?

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If you hadn’t heard about Ronaldo’s frolics with a trio of transvestities in Brazil recently then you’ve probably been hiding under a bush in some third world country. But we’d forgive you. Seems UNICEF however are not prepared to do the same with poor Ronnie though. In an interview with Brazil’s GLOBO TV, the Brazilian ‘Fenomeno’ stated his encounter with prostitutes would not interfere with his post as UNICEF ambassador... to which the United Nations’ Children’s agency swiftly replied…Ambassador? Sorry Ronnie but we don’t know what you’re talking about? You’ve never been one??” Oops…

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Well at least poor Ronaldo can rest assured that Nike will not abandon him in his quest for forgiveness. The same cannot be said however for Flamengo, who terminated its contract with the sports giant this week after Nike released a shirt commemorating Flamengo’s Rio De Janeiro state triumph a day before the second leg of the final against Botafogo. Even though Flamengo finally won the Campeonato Carioca, the Brazilian club was not impressed with its sporting partner’s presumptuous behaviour. The humble lads from Flamengo have stated they no longer wish to do business with good ol Nike… but we hear that forgiveness won’t help Nike’s cause. Money talks and it seems another major investor has just raised the stakes to $12million over Nikes $10.8million to win both favour and naming rights.

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Well the boys in blue have certainly been making headlines for all the right reasons lately but this week four of Chelsea’s popular players, namely captain John Terry, Joe Cole, Ashley Cole and Steve Sidwell were picked up in the papers for reasons of a different kind. It seems the lads were pictured riding quad bikes along a busy road without helmets. The quartet were riding from their Cobham training ground in Surrey to Pub just a few kilometres up the road. Fair go! For starters, the lads deserve a drink and secondly, with all their recent success, I’m sure their heads wouldn’t fit into a helmet anyway right! Onwards and upwards lads.

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On the UEFA Champions League, British tabloids have been going bananas over the fact that an all-English Final will be played in Moscow. But rest assured, they do have a point. Apparently the Russians only have 34,000 hotel rooms to offer for an approximated 75,000 guests, according to U.S State Department statistics. While the Russians are working overtime to ensure easy entry with quick expedition of otherwise lengthy visa applications, it seems they are also keen for the English to exit just as quickly as well. Moscow’s Deputy Mayor, Valeriy Vinogradov, says he is all about fans flying into Moscow in the morning and flying out immediately. Why? Well in his words: “I’ve been to a few football matches and they are not the kind of clientele we want hanging around.” Whatever you do Valeriy, don’t ever consider a role in tourism marketing.

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Speaking of anti-English sentiment. FIFA President Sepp Blatter’s recent proposal to impose a “6+5” ruling on club teams, allowing no more than five foreign players to start a match, has triggered a response from Richard Scudamore. The EPL’s Chief Executive believes that rival European leagues are jealous of the EPL’s success and would be happy to see it diminished. “There is an envy out there. You cannot deny it, it is there.” You tell em, Dick.

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Well at least Italy’s Inter Milan are happy to dismantle the balance a little for England’s cause. Seems the club’s president Massimo Moratti has been working overtime to secure a super squad next season and on the recent hit list are the likes of Aleksander Hleb (ok he’s from Belarus), Samuel Eto’o (from Cameroon) and wait for it… Steven Gerrard as well. Now if Sepp Blatter gets his way then I don’t see England’s golden boy leaving home anytime soon Moratti. Dream on!

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Meanwhile, the mathematics of football just don’t seem to be adding up for Inter’s city rivals AC Milan. While negotiations with Barcelona continue for the transfer of Ronaldhino and Gianluca Zambrotta, the mathematical sums clearly don’t. Milan are offering 22 million euros (15 for Ronaldhino and 7 for Zambrotta) but Barca want 40 million euros. Maybe Didier Drogba and Emmanuel Adebayor would be the smartest option for all concerned. Option B clearly has my vote.

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And finally, seems referees get as much press time as players do these days, particularly when similar scenarios receive very different penalties.

Take for example Times Online’s recent example.

Tim Wiese, the Werder Bremen goalkeeper, paying homage to Harold Schumacher with this ludicrous challenge on Hamburg’s Ivica Olic

At least Wiese was booked. At the 1982 World Cup, Schumacher was rewarded with a goal kick for nearly decapitating Patrick Battiston. Ah the inequality of it all!

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